So big exciting news in the annals of E’s not-quite-graduated career: I have a summer job.
Dzanc Books has taken me on again for the summer as an editorial intern. I worked for them from June 2014 to January of this year, and it seems I just can’t stay away. They will be paying me in nothings, with some added access to manuscripts on the side.
I feel rather silly now to know that the company I worked for for like half a year is actually kinda a big deal for an independent press. “The future of publishing”, or as my poetry teacher said “seriously legit!” Apparently my good taste is accurate enough I’ve been given permission to can manuscripts I think need composting. He was very impressed. Go me.
Now, I said I would provide a preview of some material from Natives, and let no one say I ever lied about anything other than doing a daily update every single day, and drinking out of the cranberry juice jug (I’m the only one who drinks it, what the hell are they so upset about?)
So take a snippet of ‘Snow White and the Alarm Clock Prince’.
As he spoke in this way the good dwarfs took pity upon him, and gave him the coffin. And now the king’s son had it carried away by his servants on their shoulders. And it happened that they stumbled over a tree-stump, and with the shock the poisonous piece of pineapple which Snow White had bitten off came out of her throat. And before long she opened her eyes, lifted up the lid of the coffin, sat up, and was once more alive.
“Oh, heavens, where am I?” she cried.
The king’s son, full of joy, said, “You are with me.” And he told her what had happened, and said, “I love you more than everything in the world, come with me to my father’s palace, you shall be my wife.””*
“Buddy,” Snow said, “That’s pretty creepy. You fell in love with me while I was in a coma?”
The prince flushed with youthful, impassioned abashment. “How could any man help it? For you are so very lovely – your hair, as black and glossy as polished jet – your lips, so soft, red, and full! Your dark brows and silken skin, as white and pure as fresh milk…” He sighed. “Can you blame me?”
She squinted at him suspiciously. “Someone put lipstick on me. It tastes like fucking peaches. Did you do that?”
Ha! He laughed, what a silly, beauteous woman. “Of course not, you were like this when I found you.”
She clambered out of the plexiglass coffin, hiking her skirt up. “This is the creepiest thing that has ever happened to me,” Snow commented, kicking off a jeweled slipper and rubbing her foot. “Even the thing with the werewolf and the waxing strips doesn’t come close. These pinch!” She hurled the second slipper at a tree. The larch flinched and started to cry. Snow cruelly ignored it, turning a basilisk stare upon the prince.
“How long have I been asleep? What’s the date? Where are my seven frat boys?”
“I have watched over you for nearly three years. Those men have all graduated and are probably employed now. I have their contact information if you so desire to speak to them again.” He faltered under her gaze, and her mouth started to curl upwards.
“Why yes! I would love to talk to them again. In fact I would like to call Sebastian up right now to thank him for devising such cunning cryogenic technology. I would have kicked the bucket if not for him! Do you have a phone on you?”
“Yes,” The prince was unsure why she had begun smiling so suddenly. It was not a good feeling. “Yes, I have it on me. But we are… there are no bars in this area. I couldn’t get any service here. In fact, I think the closest place in range is at my father’s palace. There you can make your calls, refresh yourself and fully… defrost.”
“No,” Snow replied icily, sharp like frost. “If you don’t give me your phone and let me make my calls, I’ll have you brought up on kidnapping and obstruction of a missing person’s case. Give me my fucking phone call.”