E’s Birchbox Blurb for April 2015

I like Birchbox a lot.  A lot.  $10 for a monthly present of mystery mini-me cosmetics I’ll never buy because they’re expensive?  Sign me on.  Pamper me with this pretty $10 box, that I might try things that don’t work (but they might – you don’t know that yet).  And pretty, pretty boxes.  I stack them and keep my flashcards in them.  I thought about using them to package gifts, but no.  They are too pretty.  Maybe if I really love you.

And I feel so many things about the stuff I get.  It’s only fair that I subject you to ’em every month.  Now, I started in February, but my feelings about those boxes have expired so I will start with this month from here on out.  I’ll also maintain a list of the stuff I really like and might actually buy maybe.  I get my boxes ’round the 15th (which is also the beginning of shark week, huzzah, so we know when it’s coming), so expect a post at the end of each month – the delay is to avoid sending out early false impressions.

These are my favorites.  By favorite I mean they work really well and I can conceive of replacing my current stuff.  My current exfoliating products include a Bass facial brush and a dry brush for my body, borrowing Ma’s mini-foot sander and the stuff whose name we do not recall but which burned our face a little.  So upsetting the current established exfoliating order is perhaps not as great an accomplishment as it might sound, but I like these.  I’m saving up my points.  Maybe I’ll get one once I have $20 credit to waste.

Vasanti BrightenUp! Enzymatic Face Rejuvenator
Delightfully scratchy in a doesn’t-eat-your-face way. Sample lasts forever.
Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant
Where does the dead skin go? Did it get eaten by invisible monsters attracted to this gook? Great for exfoliating in weird places, like post-cold nostrils. Because how do you exfoliate there?

Anyways, current box, oh so pretty.


This month brought

  • hydrating shampoo that smelled real nice but didn’t keep my hair clean very long (hair washing is only for grease, residue, and re-dying hair!).
  • shave cream that smells like a confectioner’s idea of blueberry and which I have no use for because baby powder is cheap and electric shavers do not crave my blood.
  • Harvey Prince hello liquid loofah.  Also known as the product which does not match its marketing.  Does not lather, so runny I must aim for my hand or the loofah very carefully, I am still uncertain how to determine the extent of its exfoliation properties, because half the sample is already down the drain and making its escape toward lake Erie.  Also the smell lasts for as long as it takes you to get out of the shower.  Which is a shame, because the citrus scent is just aces.
  • Jelly Pong Pong highlighter continues to baffle me.  It comes in a little nail polish bottle.  How do I apply it?  Where on my face?  Not on there like the bloggers say.  How am I supposed to tell if it’s there?  Is it doing anything?  I get more glow from my argan oil.
  • ah, scratchy stuff.  How I love you.  Perhaps we may have a more lasting and financially invested relationship in the future, but for now I treasure your tiny 20 grams of pea-sized portioned use.  Unlike liquid loofah lie further up the list, this stuff gives the best of both worlds – the eatey stuff and the scratchy stuff in perfect balance.  Papaya enzymes and friendly little microcrystals that say hi but don’t tear your skin.  There’s also skin conditioners that keep my face from getting irritated and then breaking out in protest.  Vasanti BrightenUp! Enzymatic Face Rejuvenator is such a long name for scratchy stuff.

E has options, it is quite clear.

Number 4 Hydrating Shampoo
Whish Shave Crave Shaving Cream – in blueberry
Harvey Prince Hello Liquid Loofah
Jelly Pong Pong Glow Getter Highlighter

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