Terribly good food in Charleston

Ugh. Too much good food, Charleston.  How dare you.  Ugh.

I am now expected to learn how to cook grits, shrimp and grits, hush puppies, andouille sausage, make pimento cheese spread, and smoke my own tasso ham in order to flavor most of the aforementioned items.  Ugh.

I’m running into a few ridiculous and highly lamentable problems  – seafood makes up the majority of the main dishes in the restaurants I’ve gone to.  I don’t like seafood.

Mostly.  I do enjoy crustaceans with a flavorful sauce or as a bisque.  On two occasions Dad made truly awesome salmon on the grill.  Buttery, light, flaky – bourbon maple glaze on cedar plank, the other with a white miso and sake mirin marinade (note: buy untreated cedar shingles from Home Depot and give them a good scrub down.  Cut them to the size you want and soak before grilling.  The package will last you for like forever.  Food stores sell you prettily cut and grossly overpriced planks – don’t bother. You want the cedar flavor, not a perfect wood slab, unless you need to be fancy.  If so I am so not your girl.   I eat the steak and drink the wine and then go home to watch pirated movies.)

Some white fish make me itch and mollusks taken from their shells weird me out.  They look like some lesser organ that could have been removed from my side.

I am an adult, so I know that just because I don’t like something, doesn’t mean it isn’t any good. So imagine my consternation each time I open a menu and I see all this fantastic food that my palate will not appreciate.  Ugh.

But I am a brave thing, which is why I discovered lobster, crab and shrimp hush puppies are a beautiful thing.  Thank you, Fleet Landing!   I felt kinda sheepish ordering a rib-eye in an area where shrimp is only considered fresh if it was caught within the last 12 hours.  So sorry, SC.  If Midwesterners subscribed to that policy, we would have no shrimp at all.

Therefore this Midwestern girl ordered the rib-eye, and I was very glad I did.  Perfectly cooked – medium rare, a consistent and juicy healthy pink.  There was just the right amount of fat marbling.  The green beans – nice.  I substituted creamy grits for roasted red potatoes – no brainer.  The demiglace on the side went straight into the grits, while my folks looked on in horror.  They were more delicious like that okay.

Our first night in we made bacon cheeseburgers on Dad’s portable grill and polished off an entire tub of pimento cheese spread and a box of wheat thins.

Tonight it’s hot dogs and steaks.  And corn.  And mini cupcakes.

Clearly I’m having a terrible vacation and I need to go home.

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